Episode 153: How to Deal when Stress is a Heart Issue

Episode 153: How to Deal when Stress is a Heart Issue

Catch the latest episodes at any of our platforms below!

Stress is a part of our lives, but there is a healthy way to deal with it. Today my guest is a fellow working mom, Dr. Mariam Coaster and we are talking all about our internal relationship with stress and how our relationship with God plays into it. Join us, as Mariam shares practical tips on how we can self-assess our stress and give you strategies to show up as your best self when we find ourselves at our worst. This is part one of a two-part series. Join us next week as we move the conversation to discuss stress and our relationships.


Mariam Coaster Ph.D., LMFT (InRelationship.us; mariamcoaster.com) is a wife to a wonderful husband, and mother to two beautiful children, a two-year-old boy, and a 3-month-old girl. Professionally, she has a doctorate in neuroscience and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She primarily works with couples and women at her private practice in Franklin, TN. She is passionate about helping people grow towards healing and restoration in their closest relationships. She is also the co-founder of InRelationship, and a marriage workshop called 7 Conversations to Enrich your Marriage. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, cooking up a new-found recipe, and being actively involved in her church.


Stress is a God-given opportunity to grow in humility, wisdom, and connection.

  • Humility because we recognize that we are not ultimately in control of our lives.

  • Wisdom because we can receive greater perspective and insight about our relationships.

  • Connection because God never intended for us to go through this life on our own.

Identifying stress in ourselves and our relationships. There are three internal stress indicators that God created in everyone:

1) Feelings: what emotions are coming up about God, ourselves, and others in this stressful situation?

2) Thoughts: what beliefs and cognition are coming up about God, ourselves and others regarding this stressful situation?

3) Body sensations – where in your body do you notice the stress? [Our brain processes stress by initiating the fight, flight or freeze mechanism. It also initiates us to seek out connection during stressful times.]

The internal stress indicators help access heart issues.

A heart issue is a desire to rely on or trust in anything more than God himself. Examples include a pride, self-righteousness, self-reliance, desperate need for approval, control, power, false identity, etc. Even good desires, when they become ruling or dominating desires, will become a stressor in relationships.


Mariam Coaster
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Social Media Links

Life balance at your fingertips? Yes, we got it right here on our official Your Life Rocks life balance app! Download free now.

Episode 140: When Lack of Balance is a Heart Issue

Episode 140: When Lack of Balance is a Heart Issue


Do you struggle to find balance in your life? Or to maintain it when you do find it? I really like to keep things streamlined so I love it when you can leave the show with three steps, or maybe five tips to create more balance in your life. This is just where the systems that allow you to grow and experience more balance come into place. Listen in to find out more!

Our episodes about systems do tend to make things tangible, clean and actionable, but unfortunately, life just isn’t that clean, nor is it a simple check-list with some easy-to-apply steps to attain balance. If only it was so simple! Many of us find that we have balance for a moment, but then it goes and we find ourselves right back in the mess that we started in. This happens to so many of us so often, even with the best of intentions, and the reason for this is because there is a heart issue playing out. These heart issues usually have to do with one of the first two Pillars of Balance, and sometimes, but not always with the third.  

On the show today I will share with you a very personal heart issue that God recently revealed to me because we all have heart issues and all of us struggle in this area. I really hope that there’s something in my story that might encourage you and that you will gain from this, even if your own heart issue is very different to mine. Listen in today to hear what I have to share with you.

“We all need to be responsible and accountable for ourselves – especially if we want to grow.”


Verse of the Week

Romans 12:2

“Don’t conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind.”

Tips shared on the show

I bring all the new listeners up to speed when I talk about the Three Pillars of Balance –

  • Number 1: Putting God first and foremost in your life.

  • Number 2: Living in community.

  • Number 3: Creating systems and habits that contribute to creating balance.

  • Where the heart issues usually lie when you fall out of balance.

  • I share a very personal heart issue that God recently revealed to me.

  • Learning from each other and then passing it on is one of the benefits of living in community.

  • The difference between submission and obedience.

  • The freedom to be found through obedience to God.

  • This is actually an episode about pride and arrogance.

  • We are not in charge – God is!

  • A quote from Romans 12:2 – “Don’t conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind.”

  • We all need to be responsible and accountable for ourselves- especially if we want to grow.

  • Follow me on Instagram at your.life.rocks.

  • What happened with my work trip a couple of weeks ago.

  • What God revealed to me about what happened.

  • Dealing with resentment.