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Holidays mean getting together with family and sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes… well not so much. Listen in and learn from marriage and relationship expert Kimberly Walton from Cherished Wives as she shares 7 ways you can forge a healthy relationship with your in-laws. This is great information even if you already have a great relationship with them or if you are struggling. Kimberly has provided some BONUS CONTENT: 7 Warnings Regarding Difficult In-Laws for our Life Balance Members.
About Our Guest
Kimberly Walton is a marriage mentor, speaker, writer, and women’s retreat leader who specializes in working with Christian women to create and nurture wildly successful marriages.
She is the founder of Cherished Wives International, a coaching practice dedicated to strengthening marriages and increasing intimacy and connection through her unique INLOVE approach. The INLOVE program addresses the 6 principles that are part of successful marriage by focusing on the whole person and taking a wholehearted approach.
Kimberly comes from a place of personal experience and draws on her formal and informal education to mentor on the “how-to’s” for developing greater intimacy, increasing passion, embracing vulnerability, and strengthening relationships.
Kimberly believes in a solution focused approach to strong marriages and blends in humor, tenderness, scripture and even a touch of call-you-on-your-stuff when working with her clients whether it be in a one to one setting or a large group.
Kimberly is married to the love of her life and lives in California.
Action Items and Tips from the show
7 Ways to Forge New Ground With Your In-Laws
1) Understand: In-laws are not being difficult, they’re just being themselves and understanding the differences we all have. In-laws are not just the parents of your spouse, this includes their siblings, aunts, and uncles etc. Understand their position and history with your spouse and with you being the newbie.
2) Be Compassionate: You need to empathize that how they see your spouse is different from how you see your spouse. You need to remember what its like to be in their shoes.
3) Communicate: Having assumptions can create a myriad of misunderstandings with your in-laws (or other people for that matter). It also shows a lack of being considerate to the thoughts and feelings towards others. Taking the step to reach out and communicate with your in-laws will not only make them appreciate your gesture, but could also start building a good relationship with them.
4) Anticipate: Be observant with what is going on. Anticipate challenges that you have experienced in previous holidays. Was there a relative who drank too much last Thanksgiving? Then, there’s a big chance it could happen again. Having an exit strategy for challenges like these can help you prevent or minimize those holiday mishaps.
5) Always Defend: At all times, your loyalty has to be with your spouse. Games will be played and words thrown around or some sort of sparring going on, your obligation is to defend your spouse from the in-laws. The person you should be loyal to is your mate at all times.
6) Take Nothing Personal: This is the approach where you should learn to be un-offendable and just allow other people to be who they are. Don’t allow people to get you riled up, sucking you in to the drama. Step back to stop them from continuing to bully you, because once they see that it affects you, they will keep going ‘till you reach your limit, thus the drama. Listen in, and learn how you can identify toxic in-laws.
7) Have Boundaries: Have boundaries and guidelines on how to navigate certain situations. Remember that you have authority over your immediate family then staying firm to the boundaries you have set. Be careful though of too much boundaries which could have an opposite effect. Ask yourself, are your boundaries clear? Are they effective? Have you become the difficult in-law?
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Learn More about Our Guest
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