Episode 221: A Different Way Of Setting Goals

Episode 221: A Different Way Of Setting Goals

by | Dec 31, 2019 | Blog, career, Faith, Finances, Friendship/Fun, Health, Home, Marriage, Parenting, Time Management

Last week we wrapped up our series that lead us to Christmas called walking with Jesus.  I loved hearing from other working moms about their faith and all that Jesus as done in their lives.  

Next week we are starting a new series diving deep into some areas of life that you might have the most pressing goals to achieve for the new year.  I didn’t say new year resolution, but it might be that for you, or just some intentions for the new year, goals for your life or really whatever you want to call it, it doesn’t matter.  But if you are looking for improvement in your health, finances, home or other area of your life, you want to make sure you hit subscribe if you haven’t already so you don’t miss any of the great experts we have lined up.

So, with last week ending a series and next week starting a series, we are in a week of transition.  And really that is what this week has been all about….meaning the week between Christmas and New years.  It is my favorite week of the year because it is quiet, there isn’t that much going on and I can just breath, think, and be.

Every year I use this week to reflect on areas of my life, give gratitude, dream a little and just talk to God about bigger things than I normally get to on a daily bais.  I go through a process that allows me better insight to setting goals and getting ready to accomplish them.  

It is this exact system that I have been teaching to our Life Balance members this week.  If you are not a life Balance member, you can still join us! The great thing is that we are walking through a pre-recorded course that you can start really at anytime.  It’s a 7-day new program that has been added to the membership and it will help you get clear on your goals in a whole new way.  

In this episode, I wanted to share with you one of the priciples that we teach in this progam.  It’s a different way of setting goals than most people do.

Often when we set goals, they are out of pain of some kind.  For example, maybe you want to lose weight because you are not comfortalbe in your clothes, someone has said something to you or you experienced something that was hurtful.  Maybe you had a doctor appointment and the results were scary and it has caused you to look differently at your health. Maybe you are setting goals around your finances because you are tired of working hard and not getting ahead.  Your tired and want to afford a vacation or you are feeling the pinch of debt.

When we feel this pain or discomfort, it moves us to make a change.  When we decide to make a change, we start looking for the solution or a recipe to follow.  This is where things get complicated. Do you know how many diet plans are out there that you could follow?  I don’t either because there are new ones popping up all the time. I always say the best health program out there is the one that you will stick to.  And that is just for health, the same can be said for any area of life that you want to improve.  

Now, there is nothing wrong with seeking outside information, learning, or finding someone that can help you.  But often times we miss a huge step in the process. We forget that if we really want to change, it takes power…willpower.  And guess what? We are not nearly as powerful as our maker is. How much easier would it be to reach your goals if the Spirit of God was working in your favor to help you get there?

Seeking God in our goal setting process is critical for success in achieving it, but more than that, when we are on board with God’s will for any situation, the peace and grace is unmeasurable.

Bringing our desires to God is the first step.  Letting his grace extend past what we are capable of will help us get to where we want to go.  The other awesome things about journeying toward where you want to go with God, is that his grace overflows to other areas of your life.

That is the second point to what we are doing in Life Balance, we are looking at all areas of life, not just the one that is causing pain.  Do you know why it is causing pain? Becuase it has been neglected. When we set a goal based on our pain points alone, we tend to shift the focus to the one area of life and that can set us off balance and strart to neglect other areas of our life….you guessed it…they will be come future pain points.  It starts to create a cycle. 

Think about it as if you were spinning plates on poles like they do in the circus.  When you go the method of focusing on the one area that needed the most, you are not paying attention to the other plates spinning until they are just about ready to crash.  Then you have to rush to rescue the other areas before they come crashing to the ground.

Instead, if you have a system to keep the plates all going, and you are able to calmly check in on each one, give it a little of what it needs to keep going, it becomes much more managable.  And when life happens and the unexpected happens, if you followed the first step, you have the Holy Spirit by your side to help you.

That is exactly what we are doing inside Life Balance Membership.  Teaching you the system to do just that. That is what has always been in the membership.  The new course that we are going through right now, is really helping you first look to God for a vision for the year and then assessing each area of your life to get a direction toward what is needed to keep that area healthy.  Once we go through each area, then it’s all about taking that direction you have discoved and bringing it back to God. This prepares you to be able to live it out with the Life Balance System.

 

 

This is the kind of exercise that we are doing for each area of life.  It’s real. It’s not sexy. But it give you a clear vision of where you are and what you need to be focused on.  

Now we we are setting goals in Life Balance, it’s not to solve all the things.  It is about making progress in 90-days. That is the goal.  

I have said this before, but in case you have not heard me say it or you just need a reminder:

You can set goals in all areas of your life….and you should.  Goals are different than a life change. Want to lose 50 lbs? That is a life change not a goal.  Looking for a new career? That’s a life change. Having a baby? That is a life change. While you can have multiple goals, I don’t recommend multiple life changes.  You will go into survive mode and it’s not only difficult, it will painful.

Your life change might be to lose 50lbs but your 90-day health goal might be to focus on your water everyday, sticking to your eating plan, or adding in physical activity.  

I hope these tips help you as you start to look toward the new year.  Let me recap what we talked about.

  1.  Look to God and his strength before you start after your goals in your own.
  2. Look to set goals in all areas of your life, not just one.
  3. A life change is different than a goal.  Don’t do more than one life change at a time.

Like I said at the begininning of this episdoe, it’s not too late to join us inside of Life Balance Membership and go through this 7-day process for yourself.  You can upgrade right inside the app or by going to Life Balance Membership.com

 

Next week we are back and starting our new series!  If you are new to the show, our new series is reflective of what we are all about.  I’ll be brining you expert guests in each of the 8 areas of life to help inspire you to be the best version of yourself in each area.  Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it!

 

Until next week, keep building a life that rocks

 

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Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 213: Mid Fall Check-In

Episode 213: Mid Fall Check-In

by | Nov 5, 2019 | Blog, career, Parenting

Ok, it’s been a few months till school started and the year will be ending in a couple of months.  What a perfect time to check in with yourself and do a little self-coaching.  Specifically, I am going to walk you through a little assessment that you can do with your career and parenting areas of life, but really, you can use this same process with any area of your life.

Action Items and Tips From the Show

Let’s start with your career.  First, review the 4th quarter goals that you had planned for yourself, or others gave to you.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself.

  1. Is it still possible?
  2. Is there anything that needs to be adjusted?
  3. When you break it down to the tasks that need to be done, what do you want to accomplish vs what you need  to accomplish?

If you struggle to prioritize the tasks that will get you closest to your goal, ask yourself these questions.

  1. What is required by someone else (aka your boss)?
  2. What is needed by someone else to complete another project?
  3. What will bring the biggest value to my bigger picture goals? (think 3-5 years out)

Once you have thought through these things, move your tasks to a project management software or your calendar.  I have always used Asana for Project Management, and still love it.  But when you combine the projects with day to day tasks and your calendar, it can be hard to loose focus of what you actually need to be doing.  I recently found a new tool that helps with all that.  It’s called Sunsama and it’s awesome!  Since I started using it, my productivity has gone through the roof!  Check it out for free for two weeks by going to YourLifeRocks.com/PlanYourDay. 

Now, let’s talk about parenting.  It’s a great time to check in with your kids….not just school wise but with everything else too.

There are 5 elements to revisit with yourself and with them.

Knowledge-What are they learning?  Does anything need to be supplemented outside of school (could be clubs, online programs, tutors)?

Skill-Are they growing in the areas that they need?

Social-Are they making friends? Learning to interact with others?

Emotional-How are they doing?  

Physical-Are they healthy?  What do they need?

Once you have looked at each area, make a plan of what needs to be done to help them out.  Priortize that list and then, if you are a nerd like me, you can plug it into your project management software.  Yep, I have a project for each kid.  It helps keep me in balance as I am planning my day.

While you are doing this mid fall check-in, go ahead and check in with any other area of life that you have a big goal in.  The same principles apply regardless of the area that you are looking at.  Assess the reality, make a plan, prioritize, put it into action.

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 212: Getting Back on Track When You Feel Unbalanced

Episode 212: Getting Back on Track When You Feel Unbalanced

by | Nov 2, 2019 | Blog, career, Faith, Finances, Friendship/Fun, Health, Home, Marriage, Parenting

Last week we talked about recovering from burn out and how to fill up your bucket.  If you didn’t listen to that episode, I hope you go back and listen because it is tied to this week’s show.  If you did listen, you might remember at the begining of the show I said that if you are feeling out of balance, guilt is creeping in, and overwhelm and stress is starting to take over, there are likely two reasons why.

  1. You are out of balance in an area of your life
  2. Or your bucket is empty.

Since we covered the second reason last week, I thought it would be good to cover the first reason this week.  I mean why only cover half of what you need?

Here’s the thing, sometimes we get to the place of the crazies because life is crazy and something comes along and takes us out of the game.  It could be getting sick, hurt, or something happening to a loved one, an unexpected change in your job or relationship with someone. But sometimes it’s because we are living in an unbalanced way.

Both can be really hard on us, but if it’s the unbalanced stuff?  That can be easier to come back from.  

Let’s first talk about balance.  I know, so many people say that it’s not possible but I say it is…you just have to define it for yourself.

Here is what works for me.  Balance is not a place to arrive to.  It’s not an accomplishment. It is a verb.  It’s an action that we choose to take each day in our lives to be the best version of ourselves in all that God has called us to be.  

I can get out of balance when I choose not to do what is necessary to be the best version of myself.  Sometimes it’s because I get lazy, or I get excited about a work project or something else that causes me to neglect the other things I know I should be doing.  And you know what? It’s ok. As long as you can bring yourself back.

Think of it as if you were balancinging on a curb.  If you lean one way, you are ok as long as you lean back the other way.  If you don’t, you fall. If you fall, you are no longer balancing.

So how do you know when life is getting a bit unbalanced?  Let me tell you a secret. Your calendar won’t cue you into this.  Balance has nothing to do with your time and where it is spent. I can feel balance in my finances by only spending 3 hours a month in that area of my life.  

You will know you are out of balance by the little things that stress you out.  The undone things in your life. The feelings of guilt.

Yep, feelings of guilt can be healthy.  I know as a mom we are told to avoid mom guilt.  No one likes to feel unpleasant feelings. But they are there for a reason.  Listen to them and take action. These feelings of guilt can get unhealthy when we push them down and put our head in the sand.  But if we ask ourselves, why we are feeling that way and make a plan to course correct, then gult can be a powerful tool to help you stay on  the intentional track that you want to be on.

So, if you have been experiencing any of these things, the steps I have for you to reclaim balance for yourself will help.

  • Feeling guility about things you are not doing
  • Super stressed about money, or things that need to be done at home
  • Gaining weight
  • Feeling out of touch with your husband, or other relationship
  • Felling disconnected with God

Any of these ringing true for you?

Now before we get into what to do about it.  I want to first say, that there is no shame. No one is every going to feel 100% balanced and good with every area of life all the time.  If you can realate to the feelings above all it means is that you are normal. You are not doing anything wrong. It is just life this side of heaven.  In fact, if you are feeling any of these things….count it as a blessing. Thank God that he has put a warning system inside us called emotions. They help us from driving completely off the rails.  

Ok, enough with that.  Let’s get into what to do about it.

Simply put, lean into it.  If you feel like you are not being a good mom, ask yourself….what does me look like as a good mom?  Notice the question is what does it look like when you are a good mom….not what your neighbor or the other girl in your kids class’s mom is doing that you are not.  We are all different. We do things different. Let’s not compare ourselves to eachother, let’s just get to know ourselves. What does it look like when you are your best at being a mom?  What does it look like when you need to step up your game?

When you define what better would be in any area that you feel is lacking….do it.

Not sure what area is lacking but you just know you are feeling out of wack?  Pull out your journal…let’s go through each area of life. Faith, marriage, parenting, career, home, health, finances, friendships/fun.

Journal out what the best version of you does in each of these areas.  This is what the Life Balance course is all about. Helping you identify these things and more importantly, make a plan to get there.

But here is the thing.  You have to make the effort to do it.  Otherwise you are not listening to the warning signs and trust me.  I have been there and you don’t want to see where that leads. It’s not pretty.

If you are finding yourself needed to recalibrate your balance, now is great time to do it.  The holidays are fast appraoching and can magnify anything that is not getting the attention that it needs in your life.  So take the 15 minutes or so and go through this exercise now and start making a plan to bring things back into balance now. 

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 203: How to Create an Academic Plan with Meagan Sousa

Episode 203: How to Create an Academic Plan with Meagan Sousa

by | Aug 30, 2019 | Blog, Parenting

What’s your academic plan with your kiddos?  With it being back to school time, let’s focus in on how you can partner with your kids to set them up for their school year and for life.  We are joined by guest expert and Principal Tutor at Park River Tutoring as she guides us through how to set up an academic coaching plan to teach your kids key life skills and excel with their school year.

About Our Guest

In January of 2010, with 15 years of one-on-one tutoring experience and 10 years working with middle and high school students in out-of-school education, Meagan Sousa launched Parker River Tutoring. She has worked with students from all over the North Shore of Massachusetts to help those students succeed. Areas of expertise include Academic Coaching, Mathematics, Study Skills, SAT/ACT, SAT Subject Tests, High School Entrance Exams, MCAS, and MTEL.

Action Items and Tips From the Show

Academic Coaching:

This involves setting up for the school year ahead by finding the right tools for a student, gathering resources and setting up routines. That initial momentum of back to school tends to get kids in the right mode for wanting to achieve; the tools I give them helps keep them in that mode when the newness of the year wears off.

Coaching is also an approach that requires students to check in and reassess on a regular basis where they are at with their understanding, grades, balance and school supplies.

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Learn More About Our Guest

Episode 202: How to Become a Scream Free Mom

Episode 202: How to Become a Scream Free Mom

by | Aug 22, 2019 | Blog, Parenting

Back to school means back to routines with our kids.  I don’t know about you, but getting ready for school, or during homework time, my voice gets louder.  It can bring out the worst in me as a mom! But there is hope for us through these tips from our guest today.

About Our Guest

Michele is the founder of  You Were Made to BLOOM, a ministry created to help moms feel encouraged, find a community that cares, and offer hope for a deeper connection to their family.  She spent 21 years ministering to preschool families and 8 years speaking to groups on the power of pause through the principles found in the book ScreamFree Parenting, She’s been married to her husband for 26 years and has three children ages 23, 20, and 15 and resides right out side of Atlanta, GA. After graduating from Eastern Kentucky University, she moved to Atlanta and met Dave. It was during those years as a fire wife and Preschool Ministry Director that she developed a passion to encourage moms in all seasons of life. She also currently works as a Social Media Marketing Strategist for The Magnolia Marketing Group. 

Action Items and Tips From the Show

How to Become a Scream Free Mom

  1. Put your own oxygen mask first.  Remember, not taking care of yourself causes overwhelm.  Take a look at your morning routine-See the face of God before you see anyone else.
  2. Pause more-React less.  When we pause, we can find God.  This will look different for everyone.
  3. Parenting side by side not toe to toe.  Think about walking through life with them.  Remember, we are responsible to our kids but not for our kids.
  4. Screen Free Parenting.  Be the example for your kids to be fully present. Get intentional about your rules and do your research.

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Resources Mentioned in the Show:

Check out our past episode about screentime and your kids

 

 

Learn More About Our Guest

Episode 190: Creating An Awesome Summer

Episode 190: Creating An Awesome Summer

by | May 28, 2019 | Friendship/Fun, Parenting

Summer is here!  Are you ready to make it the most awesome summer ever?  Talk about pressure, right?  How do you feel when you hear you only have 18 summers with your kids?  If you are like me, it causes anxiety (especially when you do the math to figure out how many more summers you have with them).

Not to worry!  In this episode, we are talking about the simple ways that you can plan an awesome summer full of memory making moments.  We are keeping it simple and doable….just as summer should be.

Action Items and Tips From the Show

  1. Identify what you and your family value from summertime.  Let those things drive your planning process.
  2. Create a summer bucket list.  What do you and your family members really want to do this summer?  What are those must do events?  It can be really simple stuff like go fishing or make smores.  Get everyone to share their ideas and put them down on paper.  I love using the large presentation paper with a sticky back so we can write big, write a lot, get creative, and then post it up in the house where we can see it all season long.  Here is the link to the one that we use.
  3. Think about your summer planning in terms of balance.  We talk about balance within our three pillars.  Faith, community and systems.
  • Faith:  How are you helping your kids grow spiritually this summer?  Summer is a great time for development and discovery so let’s have God be a big part of that.  Connect with your church on summer camps, day programs, or other activities.  Give them a summer reading plan or buy them a bible study.
  • Community:  How are you building a community for your kids?  I want my kids to have an awesome summer but that doesn’t mean that it’s by my side or that I have to do everything.  Are there family members or close friends that your kids can spend time with this summer?  
  • Systems:  Everyone’s kids are at different ages and have different schedules for summer, so I’m not going to deep dive into it here.  But if you want some ideas, be sure to follow me on Instagram and I’ll share some in my stories over there.

Overall, what are the goals that you have for your kids this summer?  

Get the full planning guide at www.yourliferocks.com/summer

 

Ready to plan the most awesome summer?

Get the Summer of Awesome planning sheet, shopping recommendations to stock up on all the must-haves, simple ideas to create some summer magic before or after work, and more!

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".