Last week we talked about recovering from burn out and how to fill up your bucket. If you didn’t listen to that episode, I hope you go back and listen because it is tied to this week’s show. If you did listen, you might remember at the begining of the show I said that if you are feeling out of balance, guilt is creeping in, and overwhelm and stress is starting to take over, there are likely two reasons why.
- You are out of balance in an area of your life
- Or your bucket is empty.
Since we covered the second reason last week, I thought it would be good to cover the first reason this week. I mean why only cover half of what you need?
Here’s the thing, sometimes we get to the place of the crazies because life is crazy and something comes along and takes us out of the game. It could be getting sick, hurt, or something happening to a loved one, an unexpected change in your job or relationship with someone. But sometimes it’s because we are living in an unbalanced way.
Both can be really hard on us, but if it’s the unbalanced stuff? That can be easier to come back from.
Let’s first talk about balance. I know, so many people say that it’s not possible but I say it is…you just have to define it for yourself.
Here is what works for me. Balance is not a place to arrive to. It’s not an accomplishment. It is a verb. It’s an action that we choose to take each day in our lives to be the best version of ourselves in all that God has called us to be.
I can get out of balance when I choose not to do what is necessary to be the best version of myself. Sometimes it’s because I get lazy, or I get excited about a work project or something else that causes me to neglect the other things I know I should be doing. And you know what? It’s ok. As long as you can bring yourself back.
Think of it as if you were balancinging on a curb. If you lean one way, you are ok as long as you lean back the other way. If you don’t, you fall. If you fall, you are no longer balancing.
So how do you know when life is getting a bit unbalanced? Let me tell you a secret. Your calendar won’t cue you into this. Balance has nothing to do with your time and where it is spent. I can feel balance in my finances by only spending 3 hours a month in that area of my life.
You will know you are out of balance by the little things that stress you out. The undone things in your life. The feelings of guilt.
Yep, feelings of guilt can be healthy. I know as a mom we are told to avoid mom guilt. No one likes to feel unpleasant feelings. But they are there for a reason. Listen to them and take action. These feelings of guilt can get unhealthy when we push them down and put our head in the sand. But if we ask ourselves, why we are feeling that way and make a plan to course correct, then gult can be a powerful tool to help you stay on the intentional track that you want to be on.
So, if you have been experiencing any of these things, the steps I have for you to reclaim balance for yourself will help.
- Feeling guility about things you are not doing
- Super stressed about money, or things that need to be done at home
- Gaining weight
- Feeling out of touch with your husband, or other relationship
- Felling disconnected with God
Any of these ringing true for you?
Now before we get into what to do about it. I want to first say, that there is no shame. No one is every going to feel 100% balanced and good with every area of life all the time. If you can realate to the feelings above all it means is that you are normal. You are not doing anything wrong. It is just life this side of heaven. In fact, if you are feeling any of these things….count it as a blessing. Thank God that he has put a warning system inside us called emotions. They help us from driving completely off the rails.
Ok, enough with that. Let’s get into what to do about it.
Simply put, lean into it. If you feel like you are not being a good mom, ask yourself….what does me look like as a good mom? Notice the question is what does it look like when you are a good mom….not what your neighbor or the other girl in your kids class’s mom is doing that you are not. We are all different. We do things different. Let’s not compare ourselves to eachother, let’s just get to know ourselves. What does it look like when you are your best at being a mom? What does it look like when you need to step up your game?
When you define what better would be in any area that you feel is lacking….do it.
Not sure what area is lacking but you just know you are feeling out of wack? Pull out your journal…let’s go through each area of life. Faith, marriage, parenting, career, home, health, finances, friendships/fun.
Journal out what the best version of you does in each of these areas. This is what the Life Balance course is all about. Helping you identify these things and more importantly, make a plan to get there.
But here is the thing. You have to make the effort to do it. Otherwise you are not listening to the warning signs and trust me. I have been there and you don’t want to see where that leads. It’s not pretty.
If you are finding yourself needed to recalibrate your balance, now is great time to do it. The holidays are fast appraoching and can magnify anything that is not getting the attention that it needs in your life. So take the 15 minutes or so and go through this exercise now and start making a plan to bring things back into balance now.
Ready to create balance in your life? Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms. Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more! Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.
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