Episode 212: Getting Back on Track When You Feel Unbalanced

Episode 212: Getting Back on Track When You Feel Unbalanced

Last week we talked about recovering from burn out and how to fill up your bucket.  If you didn’t listen to that episode, I hope you go back and listen because it is tied to this week’s show.  If you did listen, you might remember at the begining of the show I said that if you are feeling out of balance, guilt is creeping in, and overwhelm and stress is starting to take over, there are likely two reasons why.

  1. You are out of balance in an area of your life
  2. Or your bucket is empty.

Since we covered the second reason last week, I thought it would be good to cover the first reason this week.  I mean why only cover half of what you need?

Here’s the thing, sometimes we get to the place of the crazies because life is crazy and something comes along and takes us out of the game.  It could be getting sick, hurt, or something happening to a loved one, an unexpected change in your job or relationship with someone. But sometimes it’s because we are living in an unbalanced way.

Both can be really hard on us, but if it’s the unbalanced stuff?  That can be easier to come back from.  

Let’s first talk about balance.  I know, so many people say that it’s not possible but I say it is…you just have to define it for yourself.

Here is what works for me.  Balance is not a place to arrive to.  It’s not an accomplishment. It is a verb.  It’s an action that we choose to take each day in our lives to be the best version of ourselves in all that God has called us to be.  

I can get out of balance when I choose not to do what is necessary to be the best version of myself.  Sometimes it’s because I get lazy, or I get excited about a work project or something else that causes me to neglect the other things I know I should be doing.  And you know what? It’s ok. As long as you can bring yourself back.

Think of it as if you were balancinging on a curb.  If you lean one way, you are ok as long as you lean back the other way.  If you don’t, you fall. If you fall, you are no longer balancing.

So how do you know when life is getting a bit unbalanced?  Let me tell you a secret. Your calendar won’t cue you into this.  Balance has nothing to do with your time and where it is spent. I can feel balance in my finances by only spending 3 hours a month in that area of my life.  

You will know you are out of balance by the little things that stress you out.  The undone things in your life. The feelings of guilt.

Yep, feelings of guilt can be healthy.  I know as a mom we are told to avoid mom guilt.  No one likes to feel unpleasant feelings. But they are there for a reason.  Listen to them and take action. These feelings of guilt can get unhealthy when we push them down and put our head in the sand.  But if we ask ourselves, why we are feeling that way and make a plan to course correct, then gult can be a powerful tool to help you stay on  the intentional track that you want to be on.

So, if you have been experiencing any of these things, the steps I have for you to reclaim balance for yourself will help.

  • Feeling guility about things you are not doing
  • Super stressed about money, or things that need to be done at home
  • Gaining weight
  • Feeling out of touch with your husband, or other relationship
  • Felling disconnected with God

Any of these ringing true for you?

Now before we get into what to do about it.  I want to first say, that there is no shame. No one is every going to feel 100% balanced and good with every area of life all the time.  If you can realate to the feelings above all it means is that you are normal. You are not doing anything wrong. It is just life this side of heaven.  In fact, if you are feeling any of these things….count it as a blessing. Thank God that he has put a warning system inside us called emotions. They help us from driving completely off the rails.  

Ok, enough with that.  Let’s get into what to do about it.

Simply put, lean into it.  If you feel like you are not being a good mom, ask yourself….what does me look like as a good mom?  Notice the question is what does it look like when you are a good mom….not what your neighbor or the other girl in your kids class’s mom is doing that you are not.  We are all different. We do things different. Let’s not compare ourselves to eachother, let’s just get to know ourselves. What does it look like when you are your best at being a mom?  What does it look like when you need to step up your game?

When you define what better would be in any area that you feel is lacking….do it.

Not sure what area is lacking but you just know you are feeling out of wack?  Pull out your journal…let’s go through each area of life. Faith, marriage, parenting, career, home, health, finances, friendships/fun.

Journal out what the best version of you does in each of these areas.  This is what the Life Balance course is all about. Helping you identify these things and more importantly, make a plan to get there.

But here is the thing.  You have to make the effort to do it.  Otherwise you are not listening to the warning signs and trust me.  I have been there and you don’t want to see where that leads. It’s not pretty.

If you are finding yourself needed to recalibrate your balance, now is great time to do it.  The holidays are fast appraoching and can magnify anything that is not getting the attention that it needs in your life.  So take the 15 minutes or so and go through this exercise now and start making a plan to bring things back into balance now. 

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 205: Protecting Your Marriage Part Two with Kimberly Walton

Episode 205: Protecting Your Marriage Part Two with Kimberly Walton

Last week we started this two-part series featuring marriage expert Kimberly Walton from Cherished wives but talking about the outer defenses that we can use to protect our marriage.  In this episode, we go toward the inner defenses.  These action items will surely help you align your choices, and actions toward proactively building a stronger marriage.

About Our Guest

Kimberly Walton is a marriage mentor, speaker, writer, and women’s retreat leader who specializes in working with Christian women to create and nurture wildly successful marriages.

She is the founder of Cherished Wives International, a coaching practice dedicated to strengthening marriages and increasing intimacy and connection through her unique INLOVE approach. The INLOVE program addresses the 6 principles that are part of successful marriage by focusing on the whole person and taking a wholehearted approach.

Kimberly comes from a place of personal experience and draws on her formal and informal education to mentor on the “how-to’s” for developing greater intimacy, increasing passion, embracing vulnerability, and strengthening relationships.

Kimberly believes in a solution focused approach to strong marriages and blends in humor, tenderness, scripture and even a touch of call-you-on-your-stuff when working with her clients whether it be in a one to one setting or a large group.

Kimberly is married to the love of her life and lives in California.

Action Items and Tips From the Show

In this episode, Kimberly gives us the visual of protecting our marriage with the castle approach.  Think about all the protection that a castle has.  In the final segment of this series, we are focused on the inner personal defenses and the ways you can be proactive about protecting your marriage.

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 204: Protecting Your Marriage with Kimberly Walton Part One

Episode 204: Protecting Your Marriage with Kimberly Walton Part One

It’s back to school time which easily translates into back to busy time. When our focus shifts towards the kids, 4th quarter at work, and new routines, we can lose sight of our marriage. Since this podcast is all about helping keep you in balance, I thought it would be best to bring back our go to marriage expert, Kimberly Walton from Cherished Wives.com. This is a two-part series teaching us the ways that we can be proactive and protect our marriage. Today, you’ll be getting part one and I know it will bless you! This interview was originally aired two years ago, but even if you listened then, you’ll get value out of it now. I know we did!

About Our Guest

Kimberly Walton is a marriage mentor, speaker, writer, and women’s retreat leader who specializes in working with Christian women to create and nurture wildly successful marriages.

She is the founder of Cherished Wives International, a coaching practice dedicated to strengthening marriages and increasing intimacy and connection through her unique INLOVE approach. The INLOVE program addresses the 6 principles that are part of successful marriage by focusing on the whole person and taking a wholehearted approach.

Kimberly comes from a place of personal experience and draws on her formal and informal education to mentor on the “how-to’s” for developing greater intimacy, increasing passion, embracing vulnerability, and strengthening relationships.

Kimberly believes in a solution focused approach to strong marriages and blends in humor, tenderness, scripture and even a touch of call-you-on-your-stuff when working with her clients whether it be in a one to one setting or a large group.

Kimberly is married to the love of her life and lives in California.

Action Items and Tips From the Show

In this episode, Kimberly gives us the visual of protecting our marriage with the castle approach.  Think about all the protection that a castle has.  In part one of this two part series, we are focused on the outer defenses and the ways you can be proactive about protecting your marriage.

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 193: Renewing Promises for a Wildly Successful Marriage with Kimberly Walton

Episode 193: Renewing Promises for a Wildly Successful Marriage with Kimberly Walton

Summer is a time for love and weddings.  Do you remember your wedding vows?  You know, the things that you promised to your husband?  They mean so much!  Regardless of how long it’s been, anytime is a good time to recommit to the promises and intent you want to build a strong marriage.  Kimberly Walton from Cherished Wives, walks us through 4 vows or promises we can make for a wildly successful marriage.  Who doesn’t want that?

About Our Guest

Kimberly Walton is a marriage mentor, speaker, writer, and women’s retreat leader who specializes in working with Christian women to create and nurture wildly successful marriages.

She is the founder of Cherished Wives International, a coaching practice dedicated to strengthening marriages and increasing intimacy and connection through her unique INLOVE approach. The INLOVE program addresses the 6 principles that are part of a successful marriage by focusing on the whole person and taking a wholehearted approach.

Kimberly comes from a place of personal experience and draws on her formal and informal education to mentor on the “how-to’s” for developing greater intimacy, increasing passion, embracing vulnerability, and strengthening relationships.

Kimberly believes in a solution-focused approach to strong marriages and blends in humor, tenderness, scripture and even a touch of call-you-on-your-stuff when working with her clients whether it be in a one to one setting or a large group.

Action Items and Tips From the Show

Key topics on the budget breakdown:

  1. Promise to put the Marriage first
    • Are there things that are causing you to neglect your marriage?  How can you proactively set yourself up to allow nothing to get in the way?
  2. Promise to forgive regularly and often
    • Imagine your spouse on a stage as a child wearing a tee-shirt with the issue you have with them written on it.  It’s easier to have empathy and forgive them.  Then imagine a little older and forgive and repeat until they get to their current age.
  3. Vow to make yourself responsible for your own happiness or unhappiness
    • How do you communicate your needs?
  4. Vow to understand there are no egalitarian marriages and understand each of you will be the strong one at different times.
    • How do you respond to your spouse when they are in the valley?

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Resources Mentioned in the Show:

Get Kimberly’s free eBook: 101 Things That Wildly Successful Couples, Think, Know, Do, Say and Practice.

(Go here, then scroll down to get it)

Learn More About Our Guest

Episode 150: Communication in Marriage

Episode 150: Communication in Marriage

Your marriage is the most important relationship you have on this earth and with communication being such a huge part of what makes relationships work, well, we needed to discuss this. It’s easy as a working mom to not make time to connect with our husbands most likely from being too busy and having his presence taken for granted. In this episode, you’ll learn 3 ways on how you can become a better communicator with your spouse.

About Our Guest

Mary Whitman Ortiz, author of “Why Can’t I Talk to Him/Her about Sex?” loves to inspire her audiences to create a true connection in their marriage. She is a certified life coach and trained facilitator with Prepare-Enrich, Adventures in Marriage, and Marriage Mentors. She’s worked with women recovering from sexual intimacy issues such as human trafficking, sexual abuse, abortion, spousal pornography usage, and distorted cultural messages. For over 20 years she’s facilitated self-awareness and relationship development for corporate, church, and community groups. Mary draws from her B.S. and M.A. in Gifted Education to create interactive and presentations with impact. She founded Limitless Intimacy, a movement to support a healthy and Godly view of love, sex, and intimacy.

Action items from the show

Use this Communication Tool as follows:
1. Agree upon a mutually convenient time and location to share.
2. Pick a setting free from distractions.
3. Express ideas in a neutral tone (ex. not while irritated or angry).
4. Let one person do all the speaking, while the other listens only.
5. Switch roles and let the other person do all the speaking.
6. Answer questions or follow-up on issues AFTER completed.
7. Use DTR to gain understanding and build a connection.

  • Appreciations

“I like how you are helping me more with the dishes.”

  • New Information

“I have a meeting this week with a new client.”

  • Puzzles

“I’m puzzled why the toothpaste cap is rarely on the tube.”

  • Concerns with a request for change

“I’ve noticed that you interrupt me when I’m talking and I’d rather you wait until I’m done.”

  • Apologies

“I’m sorry that I pressured you about buying another house.”

  • Wishes, Hopes, and Dreams

“I have always wanted to go to Europe and visit a real castle.”

  • Prayer

“Would you pray with me about this issue I have going on at work?”

Tips shared on the show

How to Improve communication in your marriage

1. Know what you want to talk about.

  • Separate the issues from the hurt and confusion

  • Focus on your role in the situation

  • Release offenses, disappointment, grief

(Be responsible for you. Step into your God-given confidence. Reframe your identity by His word.)

2. Create the best setting possible.

  • Find (ask for) a time that is mutually agreed upon

  • Choose the least amount of distractions

  • Enter the conversation with a peaceful outlook

(When God is your ultimate source, the goal of every interaction is to increase understanding.)

3. Practice a daily/weekly check-in.

  • Understand different levels of communication (facts, opinions, needs, dreams)

  • Access vulnerability for deepest connection

  • Share praise, requests for change, apologies, prayer

(You are either growing closeness or distance with every step you take.)

Learn More About Our Guest

Website
http://www.marywhitmanortiz.com
Social Media Links
https://www.facebook.com/MaryWhitmanOrtiz/
https://www.instagram.com/marywhitmanortiz/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-whitman-ortiz-ma-clc-b8943034/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/sexandintimacyforthechristianwoman/
Couples’ Communication Kit: bit.ly/2KwnKMa

Episode 102:  {Marriage} Protecting Your Marriage with Kimberly Walton (Part One)

Episode 102: {Marriage} Protecting Your Marriage with Kimberly Walton (Part One)

 

The husband and wife relationship is the most important relationship you have on earth.  It’s valuable and needs to be protected.  In this episode, our guest Kimberly Walton from CherishedWives.com walks us through an illustration of how to protect your marriage like a castle.

About our guest

Kimberly has been my go-to marriage expert because she is wise, relatable, and has a way of teaching concepts that make sense and make a difference in marriages.  I have seen it first hand in my own relationship with my husband.  Kimberly is a contributor to Life Balance Membership and our free community on Facebook.

For our Life Balance members, she has put together a great worksheet to help you plan your marriage defenses.  It’s located inside the resource section of the membership under marriage.  Learn more about starting your membership by going to LifeBalanceMembership.com

A gift for you from our sponsor!

Enjoy 14 days for free to check out Prep Dish!

One of the keys to finding balance in your life is through systems.  I really think that one of the most powerful systems you can implement is your weekend prep routine.  The one piece to prep that has always stressed me out was food prep.  It takes so much time to put a healthy menu together, get the ingredients organized, and figure out what to prep ahead of time.  That’s why I am so glad I found Prep Dish.

Prep Dish is a healthy subscription-based meal planning service. When you sign up,
you’ll receive an email every week with a grocery list and instructions for prepping your meals ahead of time. After only 1-3 hours of prepping on the weekend, you’ll have all of your meals ready for the entire week. You’ll save time and have amazingly delicious meals like Smoky Paprika Chicken Legs with a Trio of Roasted Vegetables or Turkey & Zucchini Lasagna. And, the founder, Allison is offering listeners a free 2-week trial to try it out. You can’t beat that. Check out PrepDish.com/ylr for this amazing deal!