Episode 221:  A Different Way Of Setting Goals

Episode 221: A Different Way Of Setting Goals

Last week we wrapped up our series that lead us to Christmas called walking with Jesus.  I loved hearing from other working moms about their faith and all that Jesus as done in their lives.  

Next week we are starting a new series diving deep into some areas of life that you might have the most pressing goals to achieve for the new year.  I didn’t say new year resolution, but it might be that for you, or just some intentions for the new year, goals for your life or really whatever you want to call it, it doesn’t matter.  But if you are looking for improvement in your health, finances, home or other area of your life, you want to make sure you hit subscribe if you haven’t already so you don’t miss any of the great experts we have lined up.

So, with last week ending a series and next week starting a series, we are in a week of transition.  And really that is what this week has been all about….meaning the week between Christmas and New years.  It is my favorite week of the year because it is quiet, there isn’t that much going on and I can just breath, think, and be.

Every year I use this week to reflect on areas of my life, give gratitude, dream a little and just talk to God about bigger things than I normally get to on a daily bais.  I go through a process that allows me better insight to setting goals and getting ready to accomplish them.  

It is this exact system that I have been teaching to our Life Balance members this week.  If you are not a life Balance member, you can still join us! The great thing is that we are walking through a pre-recorded course that you can start really at anytime.  It’s a 7-day new program that has been added to the membership and it will help you get clear on your goals in a whole new way.  

In this episode, I wanted to share with you one of the priciples that we teach in this progam.  It’s a different way of setting goals than most people do.

Often when we set goals, they are out of pain of some kind.  For example, maybe you want to lose weight because you are not comfortalbe in your clothes, someone has said something to you or you experienced something that was hurtful.  Maybe you had a doctor appointment and the results were scary and it has caused you to look differently at your health. Maybe you are setting goals around your finances because you are tired of working hard and not getting ahead.  Your tired and want to afford a vacation or you are feeling the pinch of debt.

When we feel this pain or discomfort, it moves us to make a change.  When we decide to make a change, we start looking for the solution or a recipe to follow.  This is where things get complicated. Do you know how many diet plans are out there that you could follow?  I don’t either because there are new ones popping up all the time. I always say the best health program out there is the one that you will stick to.  And that is just for health, the same can be said for any area of life that you want to improve.  

Now, there is nothing wrong with seeking outside information, learning, or finding someone that can help you.  But often times we miss a huge step in the process. We forget that if we really want to change, it takes power…willpower.  And guess what? We are not nearly as powerful as our maker is. How much easier would it be to reach your goals if the Spirit of God was working in your favor to help you get there?

Seeking God in our goal setting process is critical for success in achieving it, but more than that, when we are on board with God’s will for any situation, the peace and grace is unmeasurable.

Bringing our desires to God is the first step.  Letting his grace extend past what we are capable of will help us get to where we want to go.  The other awesome things about journeying toward where you want to go with God, is that his grace overflows to other areas of your life.

That is the second point to what we are doing in Life Balance, we are looking at all areas of life, not just the one that is causing pain.  Do you know why it is causing pain? Becuase it has been neglected. When we set a goal based on our pain points alone, we tend to shift the focus to the one area of life and that can set us off balance and strart to neglect other areas of our life….you guessed it…they will be come future pain points.  It starts to create a cycle. 

Think about it as if you were spinning plates on poles like they do in the circus.  When you go the method of focusing on the one area that needed the most, you are not paying attention to the other plates spinning until they are just about ready to crash.  Then you have to rush to rescue the other areas before they come crashing to the ground.

Instead, if you have a system to keep the plates all going, and you are able to calmly check in on each one, give it a little of what it needs to keep going, it becomes much more managable.  And when life happens and the unexpected happens, if you followed the first step, you have the Holy Spirit by your side to help you.

That is exactly what we are doing inside Life Balance Membership.  Teaching you the system to do just that. That is what has always been in the membership.  The new course that we are going through right now, is really helping you first look to God for a vision for the year and then assessing each area of your life to get a direction toward what is needed to keep that area healthy.  Once we go through each area, then it’s all about taking that direction you have discoved and bringing it back to God. This prepares you to be able to live it out with the Life Balance System.

 

 

This is the kind of exercise that we are doing for each area of life.  It’s real. It’s not sexy. But it give you a clear vision of where you are and what you need to be focused on.  

Now we we are setting goals in Life Balance, it’s not to solve all the things.  It is about making progress in 90-days. That is the goal.  

I have said this before, but in case you have not heard me say it or you just need a reminder:

You can set goals in all areas of your life….and you should.  Goals are different than a life change. Want to lose 50 lbs? That is a life change not a goal.  Looking for a new career? That’s a life change. Having a baby? That is a life change. While you can have multiple goals, I don’t recommend multiple life changes.  You will go into survive mode and it’s not only difficult, it will painful.

Your life change might be to lose 50lbs but your 90-day health goal might be to focus on your water everyday, sticking to your eating plan, or adding in physical activity.  

I hope these tips help you as you start to look toward the new year.  Let me recap what we talked about.

  1.  Look to God and his strength before you start after your goals in your own.
  2. Look to set goals in all areas of your life, not just one.
  3. A life change is different than a goal.  Don’t do more than one life change at a time.

Like I said at the begininning of this episdoe, it’s not too late to join us inside of Life Balance Membership and go through this 7-day process for yourself.  You can upgrade right inside the app or by going to Life Balance Membership.com

 

Next week we are back and starting our new series!  If you are new to the show, our new series is reflective of what we are all about.  I’ll be brining you expert guests in each of the 8 areas of life to help inspire you to be the best version of yourself in each area.  Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it!

 

Until next week, keep building a life that rocks

 

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Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 212: Getting Back on Track When You Feel Unbalanced

Episode 212: Getting Back on Track When You Feel Unbalanced

Last week we talked about recovering from burn out and how to fill up your bucket.  If you didn’t listen to that episode, I hope you go back and listen because it is tied to this week’s show.  If you did listen, you might remember at the begining of the show I said that if you are feeling out of balance, guilt is creeping in, and overwhelm and stress is starting to take over, there are likely two reasons why.

  1. You are out of balance in an area of your life
  2. Or your bucket is empty.

Since we covered the second reason last week, I thought it would be good to cover the first reason this week.  I mean why only cover half of what you need?

Here’s the thing, sometimes we get to the place of the crazies because life is crazy and something comes along and takes us out of the game.  It could be getting sick, hurt, or something happening to a loved one, an unexpected change in your job or relationship with someone. But sometimes it’s because we are living in an unbalanced way.

Both can be really hard on us, but if it’s the unbalanced stuff?  That can be easier to come back from.  

Let’s first talk about balance.  I know, so many people say that it’s not possible but I say it is…you just have to define it for yourself.

Here is what works for me.  Balance is not a place to arrive to.  It’s not an accomplishment. It is a verb.  It’s an action that we choose to take each day in our lives to be the best version of ourselves in all that God has called us to be.  

I can get out of balance when I choose not to do what is necessary to be the best version of myself.  Sometimes it’s because I get lazy, or I get excited about a work project or something else that causes me to neglect the other things I know I should be doing.  And you know what? It’s ok. As long as you can bring yourself back.

Think of it as if you were balancinging on a curb.  If you lean one way, you are ok as long as you lean back the other way.  If you don’t, you fall. If you fall, you are no longer balancing.

So how do you know when life is getting a bit unbalanced?  Let me tell you a secret. Your calendar won’t cue you into this.  Balance has nothing to do with your time and where it is spent. I can feel balance in my finances by only spending 3 hours a month in that area of my life.  

You will know you are out of balance by the little things that stress you out.  The undone things in your life. The feelings of guilt.

Yep, feelings of guilt can be healthy.  I know as a mom we are told to avoid mom guilt.  No one likes to feel unpleasant feelings. But they are there for a reason.  Listen to them and take action. These feelings of guilt can get unhealthy when we push them down and put our head in the sand.  But if we ask ourselves, why we are feeling that way and make a plan to course correct, then gult can be a powerful tool to help you stay on  the intentional track that you want to be on.

So, if you have been experiencing any of these things, the steps I have for you to reclaim balance for yourself will help.

  • Feeling guility about things you are not doing
  • Super stressed about money, or things that need to be done at home
  • Gaining weight
  • Feeling out of touch with your husband, or other relationship
  • Felling disconnected with God

Any of these ringing true for you?

Now before we get into what to do about it.  I want to first say, that there is no shame. No one is every going to feel 100% balanced and good with every area of life all the time.  If you can realate to the feelings above all it means is that you are normal. You are not doing anything wrong. It is just life this side of heaven.  In fact, if you are feeling any of these things….count it as a blessing. Thank God that he has put a warning system inside us called emotions. They help us from driving completely off the rails.  

Ok, enough with that.  Let’s get into what to do about it.

Simply put, lean into it.  If you feel like you are not being a good mom, ask yourself….what does me look like as a good mom?  Notice the question is what does it look like when you are a good mom….not what your neighbor or the other girl in your kids class’s mom is doing that you are not.  We are all different. We do things different. Let’s not compare ourselves to eachother, let’s just get to know ourselves. What does it look like when you are your best at being a mom?  What does it look like when you need to step up your game?

When you define what better would be in any area that you feel is lacking….do it.

Not sure what area is lacking but you just know you are feeling out of wack?  Pull out your journal…let’s go through each area of life. Faith, marriage, parenting, career, home, health, finances, friendships/fun.

Journal out what the best version of you does in each of these areas.  This is what the Life Balance course is all about. Helping you identify these things and more importantly, make a plan to get there.

But here is the thing.  You have to make the effort to do it.  Otherwise you are not listening to the warning signs and trust me.  I have been there and you don’t want to see where that leads. It’s not pretty.

If you are finding yourself needed to recalibrate your balance, now is great time to do it.  The holidays are fast appraoching and can magnify anything that is not getting the attention that it needs in your life.  So take the 15 minutes or so and go through this exercise now and start making a plan to bring things back into balance now. 

Join Life Balance Membership

Ready to create balance in your life?  Life Balance membership contains the courses to help you build the systems of balance for working Christian moms.  Plus, you’ll have access to our Bible study, Setting Goals in God’s Will, planning tools to help you apply everything that you are learning, podcast bonus material, monthly group coaching, community support and more!  Start your free 7-day trial and get access to everything through the Your Life Rocks app or from your computer.

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 209: Taking Your Money Goals to the Next Level with Christina Gatteri

Episode 209: Taking Your Money Goals to the Next Level with Christina Gatteri

Today we are going beyond your budget and talking about how to take your financial goals to the next level.  Our guest and Certified Financial Planner, Christina Gatteri talks with us about how and when to invest, how to make your savings work harder for you, and how you can plan for the bigger things in life.

About Our Guest

Christina has over fourteen years of experience in financial assistance. Her passion is helping young families realize financial success–regardless of the unexpected turns, their life may take. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Economics from the Universityof Tampa. Upon her return to New England in 2005,she began her own practice as a Financial Advisor. She earned her Certificate of Financial Planning from Boston University, subsequently becoming a Certified Financial Planner™. Christina lives in Pascoag,RI with her husband Luke and daughters Olivia and Lily. She loves spending time outdoors hiking, beaching, or gardening. She enjoys using her personal experiences towards finding innovative ways to help her clients.

Action Items and Tips From the Show

How to find the right advisor for you

  • Do your homework on their background.  Look them up to make sure they have a clean record.
  • Do they listen to you and your goals?
  • How do you feel whe you talk to them?

Core finacial peices to have in order:

  1. Management of your cash flow (aka your budget)
  2. Pay down debt
  3. Invest for the things that matter and big life events

How to know when your ready to invest?

  • When you have your cash flow under control and are able to establish a plan to pay off your debt in a time frame that meets your goals AND you have more that you can pull from.

The places to invest:

  1. Take advantage of your employer match at a minimum.
  2. Then add 1-2% each quarter and see how it feels.  Adjust more or less as needed.

How do you prioritize your finanical goals when you have more than one?

  • Ask yourself where you want to have choices.
  1. Write out all your goals (retirement, travel, college, ect)
  2. Areas that you are willing to sacrifice can go at the bottom of your priority list
  3. Areas that you want choices, go to the top
      • Each goal will have it’s own vehicle to get there

Making the most of your savings:

Your savings goal should be 3-6 months of your expenses and split into thirds

  • 1/3 should be in a 6-12 month CD
  • 1/3 in an online savings account with a higher interest rate
  • 1/3 in a savings account tied to your checking

3 Tips Everyone Needs To Know

  1. Manage your credit cards
    1. Make sure you have a limit that you feel comfortable paying off.  If you can’t, call and have your limit lowered.
    2. Ask your credit card company not to increase your limit unless you ask them to.
  2. Set up auto deposits into your savings account from your checking account each month.  
  3. Check your credit report.  You can get a free copy of your credit report each year from each credit company.  Make it a standard practice to request one every three months.

Weekly Success Planning Course

Get the course inside the free Your Life Rocks app available in your app store.  Learn all about this critical system to help you create balance, plus begin planning for your success with our weekly planning tool inside the app!

 Click here to download in iTunes       Click here to download on Android

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Resources Mentioned in the Show:

Search your financial professional with FINRA and the SEC

Bankrate.com

Learn More About Our Guest

Facebook

Linkedin

www.menextyear.com

Episode 173: Tips for Making Your Finances Intentional with Sami Womack

Episode 173: Tips for Making Your Finances Intentional with Sami Womack

Do you have a strong financial plan? Regardless of what your goals are, there is likely a financial component. In this episode, Sami Womack from A Sunny Side Up Life shares tips on how you can become more intentional about making your money work for you so any goal is within reach.

About Our Guest

Sami Womack is the budgeting coach, motivational speaker, + podcaster behind A Sunny Side Up Life. Her passion is inspiring women to live abundant lives through budgeting, intentional living, and positive thinking. Sami is the wife of her high school sweetheart, Daniel, and a homeschooling mom to their three daughters. This family used to be living paycheck-to-paycheck + drowning in $490,000 worth of debt, but after they hit rock bottom everything changed!

Now that Sami has been able to gain financial freedom for her own family, she wants to help your family do the same!

Action Items and Tips From the Show

Key topics on the budget breakdown:

  1. Taking Control of your Spending.
  2. Breakdown big financial goals into smaller goals that lead to the big ones.
  3. Have a goal of how much you want to save.
  4. Organize your bills.
  5. Focus on one thing at a time – start with your emergency fund.

Practical tips:

  1. Let go of the unknown and mental challenges.
  2. Make your plans
  3. Make it your hobby
  4. Involve the family – make it fun and interactive with the kids

Ready to do something different with your money?

You can get $10 off Sami’s Money Method course! Exclusive to our show listeners, click the image to learn more!

Have you subscribed to the show yet?  Don't miss a single upcoming episode because when you subscribe, you will automatically get it the show in your app.  If you don't have a podcast app, not to worry.  You can download the Your Life Rocks app and get the shows right in the palm of your hand.  Otherwise, click here to subscribe on iTunes or here for Android.

Love the show?  It would mean the world if you would leave a rating and review.  It helps other working Christian moms find the show because if you like the show enough to leave a review, iTunes will suggest it to others.  Click here to leave a review in iTunes.  Just click on "Ratings and Reviews", then "Write a Review".

 

Episode 91: {Faith} Giving Up Control To Find Peace As A Working Mom

Episode 91: {Faith} Giving Up Control To Find Peace As A Working Mom

This is episode 91 and today we are diving into your faith.

If you are new to this show, welcome!  This podcast is all about equipping you to live the life God has called you to live.  We talk a lot about creating more balance in our lives.  Life balance can really be defined however you want….as long as it is something that is possible.  For us around here at your life Rocks, we define it by setting and moving toward goals in all areas of life.  We consider those areas your life rocks.

We are sponsored today by Life Balance Membership, the place the equips you with the systems and tools to create more balance in your life.  It is specifically designed for working Christian moms and I have built a course around the system that I used to bring my life into balance and still use to maintain that in my life.  If you are looking for a planning system, including planner, and tools to help you reach your goals in your faith, marriage, parenting, career, health, home, finances, and friends/fun….this is for you.  We just added a new resource this last week to help you reach your health goals and will be adding a few more video tutorials this next week to help with organization.  Start your free 7-day trial by going to life balance membership.com

Earlier I talked about all your life rocks.  They all can grow strong when built on the foundation of your faith.  I’m excited to explore this with you today.

Truth talk?  So often we have one or two areas of life that stress us out.  They make us feel really out of balance and bring on the guilt a little more than others.  If you have listened to prior episodes, then you have heard me talk about this before.  This is why the system of Life Balance is so important.  But it’s not always just about following the system.

Actions don’t always bring results.  It helps, but it isn’t the answer to everything.  Nope, sometimes it is a heart issue.  The unrest can be a way to get our attention, like the spirit working on us.

This is why I refuse to say that life balance is not possible.  Does it take work? Yes.  But to say that it’s not possible.  That the struggle, guilt, and overwhelm we feel is just life……this idea keeps us from listening to the urging of the spirit that calls loud to us.  When we buy into this, we are burying our heads in the sand and ignoring what is right in front of us.

Like my 8 year old that puts his hands over his ears to avoid hearing something he just doesn’t want to hear.

But what if you choose to hear it?  What if you explored the calling of the spirit that something is just not right?

In this episode, we are going to walk through this in an effort to find peace and bring you closer to balance.

Balance is obedience.

Often when we think about being obedient, we think about following rules.  I am not a rule follower.  I am a rebel.  What we are talking about in this episode is stuff I have had to walk out and learn myself.  And I can tell you, I have been a hard-headed learner.

Just like the Israelites, walking in circles in the desert….guided by God.

And you know what?  You and I are not that different from each other.  Do you know how I know?  Because I get a ton of emails from listeners that feel the sting of living a life of unbalance.  I hear it when I talk to my coaching clients, from members of Life Balance and from my friends.

We can all be stubborn to learn how to find peace…..even though the answer is right in front of us.

So, what is it?

Simple.  The number one principle of creating balance….Jesus.  When you give your life, your whole life to Jesus…..peace wipes out the overwhelm.  Your chaos makes sense and stress becomes Joy.

Giving your whole life to God is not the same as accepting Jesus into your life.  We are not talking about your salvation.  We are talking about this life.

Now, as we get into the meat of this conversation.  Let me pray for you.  I pray that God opens your heart to this topic.  Jesus, show us the areas of our life that you want from us.  I pray that the woman listening to this right now takes that step of faith to follow your lead and trusts your gentleness.  And let’s go.

What am I praying you let go of?  Your wishes, desires, and expectations for your life.  You know that tight grip you have.  The desire to do things your way, in your timing, regardless of what the spirit is telling you.

Truth is, we hang on to our own ideals and have convinced ourselves that it is ok.  If our expectations are not met, we get upset or get spiteful, and can get angry or sad or anxious.

So, what are you holding onto?

Maybe it’s your faith.  Maybe you are striving to be perfect in your religion forgetting that Jesus just wants a relationship with you.  He wants you to get to know him, depend on him, trust him. And most importantly, come as you are.  Not how you think you should be.  Just as you are.  Messed up, not perfect, just you.

What about your marriage?  This was a hard one for me.  As we go through these, I’ll tell you that there were a lot of hard ones for me.

You see, I had expectations of what a husband of mine would act like.  How he would treat me, who he would be as a father.  How he should lead the family spiritually.  My control over our relationship (in a very passive-aggressive way) was destroying our marriage.  Because it was destroying my husband.  When things got tense between the two of us, I would start to point fingers….especially how I would pray.  I would ask for God to intervene and fix him.  Yes, fix him.

I was blind to looking at what I could do.  How God has called me to be as a wife.  And blind to what I was doing to my Husband’s heart.  Do you need to let go of standards in your marriage?  Do you need to forgive?  Forgive your husband, forgive yourself, forgive God?

As I go through these, there is no action step for you to take.  Usually, I like to provide you some solid action steps each episode.  This time, I just invite you to pray.  When something stirs inside of you, examine it.  Pray some more and if you need to, let go.

Ok, let’s talk about parenting.  Another hard one for me.  This is the one that I struggle with the most right now.  Knowing that my kids belong to God not me.  I have been entrusted with raising them.  Guiding them, teaching them.  But I can’t stand between them and God.  They are his.  Just like if I was watching a friend’s kid, I would follow her rules.  Candy isn’t allowed?  Then no candy.  God has given us instruction on raising kids and he has provided an example to us as a heavenly father.  We need to follow that instruction.

I can’t save my kids from all the hurt and sadness.  I can’t be responsible for their joy.  That is God’s job.  He is their savior, not me.  It’s hard, but we have to let them go.

These are not easy.  I know, it is really not.  But when we hold these things and hide them from God, we can’t find peace.  Yes, I said hide.  There are things that we don’t pray for.  Don’t bring up to God.  I am guilty of this because what if I don’t like how God answers the prayer.

This has especially been true in my career.  I have been guilty of holding my career close to my chest.  Giving God just a little part of it while keeping the steering wheel firmly in my hands.  You know the Carrie Underwood song, Jesus take the wheel?

Yea, this has been me and asking Jesus to just be the navigator.  Like he is there for me to ask where the next gas station is.  Only need your input when I ask, thank you very much.

Now, can we still have success without giving things to God?  Yes.  But we will have unrest.  Always feeling like something is not right.  For me and my career, it was never enough.  I always felt like I needed more.  So I would work more, try harder, accomplish more.  All while I could have just handed the wheel over to him and been satisfied.

This next one is what my old pastor would call a throat punch.  And I apologize upfront because I know it hurts.  In fact, you might even decide to turn away, turn off the podcast.  I really hope you don’t.  I pray you don’t.  I pray that the spirit makes you strong.

Because we are talking about your home.  The pendulum swings wide on this one and can easily get stuck on one side or the other.  Lazy or hyper.  Lazy meaning you allow all kinds of tv shows and movies in the house.  Lazy like not keeping your house in a functioning way.  Regardless of your working situation, women are natural homemakers.  I’m not saying that you have to do it all.  In fact, I am a huge advocate of hiring out for things.  Hire someone to clean, order meals, hire an organizer.  But whether it is you or someone you hire, it is our responsibilities and our family is counting on us.

As for this house, we serve the Lord

I say that as the transitionary statement between the two…Lazy and hyper.  Is your house serving the Lord?  Or are you more like Martha?  Concerned with making the perfect meal and keeping the perfect house that you are missing Jesus in your presence?  Are you sitting at his feet or working hard in the kitchen?  See how the pendulum swings?

We could go deeper with your health, finances, friends…..but I think you get the idea.

When we are living life by our ideals and not by God’s, we will always feel the spirit pulling at us.  Trying to get our attention.  It might feel like guilt, shame, anxiousness, anger, or sadness.  The important thing is to examine it when it comes up.

Try this exercise.

Find some quiet time for prayer.  Ask God to guide you and show you what he wants you to see.  Visualize the cross.  Visualize a bunch of rocks and on each rock is an area of your life.  Visualize yourself laying the rock down at the cross and giving it to God.  Completely let go of the rock.  Ask God if you should pick it back up.  If you do, how should you carry it?  When life gets’s crazy and overwhelming, do this.

You might only get through one or two rocks at a time.  You might leave some rocks there for awhile.  Pray a lot to see how you might be holding onto it, or even hiding parts of it.

A hard one for me that I was hiding for a long time was my friends and fun.  I had a lot of friends that were not living a Christian lifestyle.  I let them influence me.  I told myself that I was hoping to influence them, but what we did for fun…..it was obvious who was really influencing who.  But, I enjoyed being with them.  I didn’t want to give that part of my life over to God.  I was terrified that he would say to walk away from them.  But when I did let my grip go, incredible peace took over my life.  My desires changed and I wanted to hang around my Christian friends.  I wanted to go to coffee and pray for people instead of going for a drink and talking about people.  God changed my heart.

Ready to go deeper?  Ready to create balance?

Start your free 7-day trial of Life Balance membership.

Not only will you have full access to our 90-day Planning Course, Life Balance Course, Rebalance (our 14-day audio course for when things get crazy and you need to come back to center), but you also have access to tools to help you grown in all 8 areas of life, and incredible community and a lot of bonuses.  For example, did you catch last week’s episode?  Our guest Joy Acaso, a parenting strategist, came on the show to help us with back to school morning routines.  She is offering special discounts for our members.  So cool right?

All that to say, we would love to have you join us as we are making life balance a movement and a possibility for working moms everywhere.

Episode 29: How To Talk About Money (Without Fighting) with Elle Martinez

Episode 29: How To Talk About Money (Without Fighting) with Elle Martinez


About our guest

Elle is the founder of Couple Money and a weekly podcast where she teaches couples how to build up their marriage and net worth by learning to live on one income and have fun with the second.

She also shares information about what matters most to couples looking at spending more time on what they love and less time on the financial minutia. In addition to Couple Money, Elle has been a contributor and guest writer at sites like TurboTaxBusiness Insider, and Entrepreneur.

Notes from the Show

One of the most helpful things the two of you can do to strengthen your marriage and finances is to sit down and be open with one another about your money. Unfortunately, many couples allow their fears about how wrong it could go stop them from doing this. This lack of communication can cause huge problems so if you haven’t already, take some time this week to discuss this with your husband.

But how do you get started?

Tips and action items shared on the show

Here are five ways to you two can draw closer and improve your family’s finances:

  1. Be Upfront with Each Other

  2. Dream Create Goals Together

  3. Play to Your Financial Strengths

  4. Use Tools That Fit Your Money Styles

  5. Have Regular Money Dates

Be Upfront with Each Other

  • Honesty is the best policy when it comes to finances in a marriage. Financial infidelity can rip apart a marriage. Sit down and look at your numbers – what debts do you have? List all of your assets.

  • If it’s too hard for you to open up, then start on the second step and then come back to this step.

Dream and Create Goals Together

  • Where are you two heading towards?

  • When creating financial goals, start off with dreams. After all, money is simply a tool. You can use it to achieve your dreams or you can waste it. What do you two want?

Play to Your Financial Strengths

  • There are many aspects to managing your money: spending, investing, debt reduction, savings, budgeting, and more.

  • As a couple, determine what those areas are, assign roles and responsibilities, and encourage your spouse in his or her respective duties.

Use Tools That Fit Your Money Styles

  • There are so many tools that can make things easier with finances, and quite a few are free. Using the proper tools can free you up from the tedious stuff and allow the two of you to focus on more important things.

Have Regular Money Dates

  • Money dates don’t always have to be around budgets and numbers but they should focus on the family finances.

  • Use these times to remind yourselves of what you’re working towards and why. These dates can be an opportunity to grow together.

Learn more about our guest

 Favorite Career Book:

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

by Timothy Ferriss

Favorite Tool or Resource:

Evernote

Number One Parenting Tip

Try to put yourself in your kid’s situation.

Links From This Episode

Couple Money Website: http://couplemoney.com/

Couple Money Podcast Link in iTunes

Couple Money on Facebook

Mint https://www.mint.com/
Personal Capital https://www.personalcapital.com/
Paribus https://paribus.co/
Digit https://digit.co/

Life Balance by Your Life Rocks Facebook Group